The title of this post is inspired by the book I read while on the plane: I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki. I picked up this book thinking it was going to be some cute read about some office worker whose life is a mini disaster but who loves to eat (more in the style of “Convenience Store Woman”). I clearly didn’t read the blurb because what I got was a string of mildly annoying/ disturbing dialogue between the author and her therapist with ZERO mention of Tteokbokki till the epilogue. Especially since the previous book I read was “Maybe you should talk to someone” (extremely good book, best book I have read in the last year), this book was just like a mediocre version of it. Since I didn’t get the cute fictional food story I expected, I am writing my own (albeit non-fiction).
“Why why why did I sign up to write another thesis?” “I hate my life.” “My working speed is getting slower and slower… If my working speed halves for every half of the thesis is that a Zeno’s paradox?” Thanks to the deadline, my thesis eventually got written despite my constant complaining. However, since I spent the day complaining, I was only left with the nights to write. This, along with my multi-timezone advisers had left me with an unfortunate sleep schedule. Having submitted my thesis, I can feel my entrapped soul returning. I decided it needs a vacation before I pawn it to industry instead.
Before COVID struck, I was planning a long vacation in Thailand. I checked the flights for Chiang Mai; surprisingly cheap. Booked. Threw a few T-shirts and a pair of shorts into a backpack and I am off to the land of smiles. I arrived at the guest house. I call it a guest house rather than a hotel because it is family own and basically just a very big house with about 10 rooms or so. First problem, they didn’t take cards! Well that is a first, guess I am really in the countryside. Thankfully I did get some cash in the last minute at the airport but paying this by cash will wipe out at least half of my cash. “Do you have change?” “Ah we don’t have change, never mind you can pay later!” LOL this place is cute. Since a friend recommended this place, I immediately shot him a message: “OMG this place don’t take card!” The room itself is nice and big, I leave my backpack in the room and head out for a snack.
5 minutes walk around the corner there is a 4.5 stars (on Google Maps) cafe. Woah so many white people (so many old white people)… Looks like a retirement place indeed. I check the menu there is pork bone soup 40 baht. Basically I am getting Bah Kuh Teh for less than $2. I am liking this. Got some Thai ice tea (fantastic because it is like 33 C or something) and the Bak Kut Teh (肉骨茶）. Ok the pork bone soup is really mostly bone haha. Guess you can’t pay $2 for Bak Kut Teh or you only get Kut and no Bak.
I got a reply: “Transfer wise them”. Okay so I went back and asked the guy at the reception if I could bank transfer. Some exchanges later, yay it works and I keep my cash. We also got chatting and when he found out who recommended me this place (and the fact that I have no actual plans other than eat) he volunteered to show me to the Hidden Temple and Doi Suthep himself instead of calling the company that does tours. “Tomorrow 6am?” Right so I am waking up at 6am on my vacation :) I can’t sleep anyway haha.
I guess I can mention my little detour to the ice-cream shop after this. Got strawberry and vanilla ice-cream, yes I am basic and unashamed. Solidly decent and cheap, I am a little spoilt because I had too much Gelato and normal ice-cream can’t really compare.
Went back to the hotel and took a shower, and a nap :) Yes I normally get sleepy before dinner as part of my messed up sleep schedule. Woke up after 7pm and was very very tempted to get delivery. “But come on it’s your first day of vacation” I told myself, “put some effort in vacationing!” And so, I was off to a Thai restaurant famous for “the best Khao Soy in Chiang Mai” that is conveniently 10mins walking from where I am. The restaurant is crowded and there is a waiting list and a queue. I walked in looking like the lost sheep that I am and somehow got my name on the list. Then is the sitting on the benches while they call out numbers in Thai. Since I don’t actually understand what they are saying, I went to check every few numbers just in case. When it was finally my turn someone that spoke English came to sit me and another foreigner. I was on the phone with some juicy gossip about office drama with potential triangle romance, divorce and secret loves so I just kinda made my way to the seat oblivious to everything and stare at the menu dumbly. Eventually my call ended and I was struggling to decide what to eat. “Hey this may sound very weird but I am opening a Thai restaurant, so I want to order everything to try. Do you want to share the food?” It’s the other foreigner. Ah yes of course I would love to try all the different foods too. The problem of being alone in Thailand is that I can’t order everything.
There were some interesting stuff on the menu tonight. Northern Thai food that I haven’t really tried before. The taste profile is more sweet than I am used to and far less spicy than Thai food in Bangkok. The roasted pork was decently crispy but too dry, the stir fried vegetable is a tad bitter but the bitterness grows on you such that the more you eat the more you feel like eating. The appetiser plate had a bunch of interesting stuff including fermented pork sausage (tastes like ngoh hiang) some fried pork rind and a pork stew thing that I forgot the name of. Another interesting thing, the omelette had ant’s eggs inside. Mhmm yes I had bugs for dinner, they are white around the size of a grain of rice and had a rather interesting texture, kind of like meaty grapes that pop in your mouth. Rather pleasant if you don’t look at it. Khao soy is a coconut rich curry noodle dish with crisps on top, the crisps are quite important and enhance the texture of the dish. The soup is mainly slightly sweet and savoury with coconut milk, sometimes it is spicy but this version isn’t. You can squeeze in lime to round out the flavour and I find that throwing in a few of the raw onions also adds to it. Though it is the “best Khao soy in Chiang Mai” I found a competing store that suited my tastes more the next day. The soupy vegetable and pork dish (whose name also escapes me) reminds me of 梅菜扣肉, I am extremely certain they are using the same kind of spice and vegetable just a different cut of meat and with more water. (Personally not a fan.) The dessert is banana in coconut milk LOL, the bananas are tart rather than sweet, and the whole something in coconut milk seems to be very typical of desserts in this area. Overall, a very very hearty meal and we ordered way too much of course. The longang drinks (they call it baalfruit there) are good, and the lemongrass drink is also interesting. The Canadian-Mexican restaurant owner graciously paid for the meal and a (I think? since I don’t know the cost of the meal) generous tip. Very American. Being decidedly not American I am still very confused about the whole tipping thing. Yes in the USA you have to tip because the service staff are basically not paid but in non-tipping countries are American style tipping just leading to inflation? Well somehow Chiang Mai still manages to be much more affordable than Bangkok but I can’t help wondering. On the other hand, without tourist money are their salaries sustainable? There seems to be no good answer so I shall just follow what random online travel bloggers say and tip 10% for good service in Chiang Mai.
For a first day in Chiang Mai, I am off to a good start food wise. Now time to stroll back and turn in for my 6am. That was a very good idea because the next day was not what I signed up for ><|||…
